“What If I Regret This?” – Overcoming the Emotional Guilt of Divorce
Even when a marriage is toxic or broken beyond repair, many people struggle with one overwhelming emotion: guilt. Guilt about breaking up the family. Guilt about how divorce will affect the kids. Guilt about not trying harder. Guilt about the unknown—
“What if I regret this later?”
Guilt is one of the biggest emotional roadblocks to leaving an unhappy marriage. It can keep you stuck for years, constantly questioning your decision and hoping that things will magically get better. But staying in a marriage out of guilt, rather than true happiness or partnership, is not a healthy choice for you—or anyone else involved.
Why Do We Feel Guilt in Divorce?
Guilt often stems from internalized beliefs, expectations, and societal pressures. Some of the most common sources of guilt include:
- Feeling like a failure – “I promised forever. Divorce means I didn’t succeed.”
- Worrying about the kids – “Even though I’m miserable, maybe it’s better for them if I stay.”
- Fear of hurting your spouse – “They say they’ll change. Maybe I should give them one more chance.”
- Cultural or religious expectations – “Divorce isn’t something people in my family/community do.”
- Doubt about the future – “What if this isn’t the right decision?”
These feelings are normal—but they should not dictate your future. Guilt is an emotion, not a fact. And just because you feel it doesn’t mean you are making the wrong decision.The Truth About RegretMany people fear that if they leave, they might regret it later. But here’s what I tell my clients: Regret is far less common than relief. Most people who take the difficult step of leaving a toxic or unfulfilling marriage don’t look back with regret—they wonder why they waited so long.The real regret often comes from staying in a situation that drains your happiness, well-being, and self-worth. Divorce isn’t the end of your story; it’s the beginning of a new chapter—one where you have the opportunity to create the life you truly deserve.How to Work Through Guilt and Move Forward
- Remind Yourself Why You Started Considering Divorce – When guilt creeps in, reflect on why you reached this point in the first place.
- Talk to Someone Who Understands – A therapist, support group, or trusted friend can help you process your emotions.
- Focus on the Long-Term Impact – Will staying in this marriage truly make you or your children happier five years from now?
- Acknowledge That Divorce Can Be the Healthiest Choice – Sometimes, the healthiest thing you can do for yourself and your children is to leave a situation that is no longer serving you.
- Get Legal Clarity – Many people feel guilty because they fear the unknown. A consultation with a divorce attorney can replace fear with facts and help you feel more confident about your decision.
You Deserve Peace, Not Guilt
Guilt is a powerful emotion, but it should not keep you in an unhappy marriage. You deserve a life where you are not constantly questioning yourself, feeling stuck, or putting your needs last.
If you’re struggling with guilt but know deep down that divorce may be the right choice, call us today. We’ll provide clarity, support, and legal guidance so you can move forward with confidence.rward or just need clarity on your next steps, we’re here to help.ht guidance, you can build a life that is truly yours.
**Please note to ensure you receive a timely response from a member of our staff, please include family@costalawyers.com in all email correspondence. Thank you **
